Mental Health on Campus – Five Ways to Support One Another
By Monica S. Flores
We’re calling attention to five specific ways that students, allies, and instructors may advocate for better ways to support mental health on campus. The recent passing of Saoirse Kennedy, who advocated for her own mental health and that of her classmates, has encouraged politicians and higher-education officials to bring mental health to the forefront. The loss of people in the top of their field like Anthony Bourdain, Kate Space, and Robin Williams, are also spurring all of us to make a change. Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among college students, according to the National Institute of Mental Health.
Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash
“This affects every single family in America,” says Patrick J. Kennedy, a former Rhode Island Congressional representative and cousin to Saoirse Kennedy. “It’s way past time that we deal with this in a way that we would deal with any other public health crisis.”
Mental health awareness is a big part of how we can care about each other. When we’re aware of both our own well-being and actions, as well as the well-being and actions of others, we can be proactive about getting assistance in advance from someone who’s trained.
Let’s prioritize our own and others’ emotional, psychological, and social wellness. Mental health issues are often triggered when we make such transitions as heading to college, moving to a new living situation such as a dorm, campus apartment, or fraternity or sorority, being in a new city, state, or country, taking classes and starting work, being around new people, and developing new relationships, roommates, and friendships.
Mental health is a priority throughout our lives, but the campus years are particularly challenging. At colleges, universities, and community colleges around the country, anxiety is the top concern: https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety. Nearly 40 million people in the United States (18%) experience an anxiety disorder in any given year, and approximately 8% of children and teenagers experience an anxiety disorder with most people developing symptoms before age 21; however, about one-third of those suffering from an anxiety disorder receive treatment, even though the disorders are highly treatable.
More than 80% of top university executives say that mental health is more of a priority on campus than it was three years ago, according to a report released by the American Council on Education, which represents more than 1,700 college and university presidents. “Around 75% of survey responders reported hearing about anxiety and depression the most frequently among mental health issues, with 23% of presidents saying suicide was one of the top problems on the campus.”
Zelda Williams, daughter of the late comedian Robin Williams, says, “..for those suffering from depression, I know how dark and endless that tunnel can feel, but if happiness seems impossible to find, please hold on to the possibility of hope, faint though it may be.”
We are able to help one another, and ourselves, and hold on to the possibility of hope, by being aware of early warning signs, asking each other how we’re feeling, being a compassionate listener, asking and offering help, and knowing what kind of support is available to us.
What are the early warning signs?
If you see some of the following symptoms in yourself or the people close to you, seek assistance – get help from someone who is qualified and can help you through. Some of these behaviors and feelings are early indicators*:
- Increased alcohol use
- Increased drug use
- Eating or sleeping too much or too little
- Pulling away from people and usual activities
- Having low or no energy
- Feeling numb or like nothing matters
- Physical pain, unexplained aches and pains
- Feeling helpless or hopeless
- Smoking, drinking, or using drugs more than usual
- Feeling unusually confused, forgetful, on edge, angry, upset, worried, or scared
- Yelling or fighting with family and friends
- Experiencing severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships
- Having persistent thoughts and memories you can’t get out of your head
- Hearing voices or believing things that are not true
- Thinking of harming yourself or others
- Inability to perform daily tasks like taking care of your kids or getting to work or school
* from MentalHealth.gov, learn more about specific mental health problems and where to find help.
Ask someone how they’re feeling
When you are able to spend time with someone, make it a priority to ask how the other person is doing. “We are all either struggling or know someone who is battling an illness; let’s come together to make our community more inclusive and comfortable,” wrote Saoirse Kennedy in her high-school essay. We are all, by nature of being human, subject to good times, bad times, and in-between times. Ask your friend or date or classmate how they’re really doing, and listen to their response. Be willing to skip past the standard greetings and wait a little longer to get to the heart of someone’s day. One glance, one moment of eye contact, one way of extending human communication and connection goes a long way to helping a situation become more empathetic and comfortable.
Similarly, share what you’re going through. In most likelihood, you are not alone in your feelings, and sharing it can really help split the load and lighten your burden. The stigma of discussing mental health and wellness is so strong, one step can be for us to share, truly, how we are feeling and thinking, when a friend asks.
Photo by Hian Oliveira on Unsplash
Be a compassionate listener
There are different methods of listening to someone. The gift of time with someone is one of the biggest gifts you can give, and the ability to be a more compassionate, active, and empathetic listener is what we can practice and strive to do more of. Listening well means listening without judgement, fear, or doubt. It means just listening – being attentive (put the phone away), being caring, repeating back what you hear, and opening your heart to what the other person is trying to share. Listening is not about trying to fix a person or come up with a quick solution. It’s about letting the person work what they need to say.
When you’re with someone and you want to participate with a more active mode of listening, here are some ways to show more compassion:
- Make eye contact.
- Listen to everything – and ask questions about things that aren’t clear, using questions like “How did you feel about that?” and – “What are you thinking or feeling about that right now?”
- Summarize and repeat back what the person has told you. “It sounds like you’re pretty upset about ______, and you’re feeling __________ right now.”
- Do NOT jump into giving advice.
- Do NOT cut the person off.
- Do NOT label – don’t come up with cut-and-dried labels for a situation. Understand all the underlying details. Strive to listen even more.
- Do NOT assume: ask for clarifications instead of leaping forward with an assumption.
Photo by Kevin Delvecchio on Unsplash
Asking and offering help
People struggling with mental illness, depression, and anxiety, are regular people going through a tough time. Similar to someone dealing with a physical illness like the flu or a bad case of stomachache, let’s learn how to ask for help and also to offer help. Some ways to ask for help:
“I’m really not feeling that great in general. Can you help me?”
“Honestly, I’m not really happy about things. I’d appreciate some support.”
“Can you check in on me this afternoon? I can’t talk about things right now but I want to connect with you about what’s going on.”
“I really feel bad and need help.”
“I need help, can you help me.”
When offering help, let people know that you there as a support person and a resource, and can be there for a helping hand, to help with meals or organize life details, to encourage them to make the call to the clinic, and to help walk them to the clinic.
“Let me figure out what to do – stay on the phone and I”ll look up campus mental health.”
“I’m really sad to hear that – how can I help you?”
“What would be helpful for you?”
“Which is a good way for me to help you? I’m headed over.”
Know what kind of support is available
Support is always available. Know your campus clinic number as soon as you arrive. There are usually magnets or cards you can keep – add the number to your Contacts list so you have it at your fingertips. If you, a classmate, a significant other, friend, roommate or neighbor or dorm-mate is feeling suicidal, call 1-800-273-8255 or text HELLO to 741741 to connect with a real human. Find a therapist online: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
BetterHelp is a paid app for connecting to a therapist online https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/ and Calm https://www.calm.com/ and Headspace https://www.headspace.com are helpful for meditation and calming relief.
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